Our Fort Myers ABA therapists at FOCUS Therapy recognize there are few things more challenging than watching your child melt down in the middle of the grocery store, refuse to get dressed for school, or repeatedly engage in behaviors that seem purposeless or disruptive. In those moments, it’s easy to feel frustrated, exhausted, or even embarrassed. You might wonder: Why does my child keep doing this? What am I doing wrong?

Here’s the truth that our Fort Myers ABA therapists want every parent to understand: Your child’s behavior always has a reason. Even the most challenging behaviors aren’t happening “for no reason” or because your child is “trying to push your buttons.” Behavior is communication. When we understand what your child is trying to communicate, we can respond in ways that truly help.

As ABA therapists, we’ve had the privilege of working with hundreds of families navigating behavioral challenges. Here, we’re laying out the four main functions of behavior. Understanding these functions can transform the way you see your child’s actions and give you practical tools to respond with compassion and effectiveness.

Why Understanding Behavior Matters More Than Ever

With approximately 1 in 36 children in the United States now identified with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) according to the CDC’s latest data, and countless more children experiencing developmental, emotional, or behavioral challenges, parents need evidence-based strategies more than ever. Research consistently shows that ABA therapy is highly effective in addressing behavioral challenges, with comprehensive ABA-based interventions demonstrating medium to large effects on intellectual functioning and adaptive behavior in children with ASD.

But here’s something that’s often overlooked: these principles work for all children, not just those with a formal autism diagnosis. Whether your child has autism, ADHD, sensory processing challenges, or is simply navigating typical childhood development, understanding why behavior happens is the first step toward meaningful change.

The Foundation: Every Behavior Serves a Function

In ABA therapy, we operate from a simple but profound principle: all behavior serves a purpose. Your child isn’t misbehaving to make your life difficult. They’re using the tools they have — their behavior — to meet a need or solve a problem.

We’ve identified four primary functions that drive nearly all behavior:

1. Attention
2. Escape/Avoidance
3. Access to Tangibles
4. Sensory/Automatic Reinforcement

Here, we’ll walk through each one, with real examples and practical strategies you can use.

Function #1: Attention

What it looks like: Your child whines during your phone call, acts silly when guests visit, repeatedly calls “Mom! Mom! Mom!” while you’re cooking dinner, or engages in negative behaviors that immediately get your focus.

What your child is communicating: “I need you to notice me. I want your time, your eyes on me, your interaction.”

Here’s the thing about attention-seeking behavior: attention is a basic human need. We all crave connection, especially from the people we love most. The challenge is that children often haven’t learned appropriate ways to get attention, or they’ve learned that negative behaviors (throwing toys, yelling, hitting) get attention faster than positive ones (saying “excuse me,” waiting patiently, playing quietly).

How to respond:

• Catch them being good: Provide abundant positive attention when your child is behaving appropriately. “I love how you’re playing so nicely!” “Thank you for waiting patiently!” This teaches them that good behavior = attention.
• Use planned ignoring: For minor attention-seeking behaviors that aren’t dangerous, briefly withhold attention (no eye contact, no verbal response) until the behavior stops. Then immediately provide attention for positive behavior.
• Provide scheduled attention: Set aside dedicated one-on-one time with your child each day. Even 10-15 minutes of undivided attention can significantly reduce attention-seeking behaviors throughout the day.
• Teach appropriate attention-seeking: Directly teach your child how to get your attention appropriately: “When you need me and I’m busy, you can tap my arm gently and say ‘excuse me.'”

Function #2: Escape/Avoidance

What it looks like: Your child throws their homework across the room, runs away during tooth-brushing time, has a tantrum when it’s time to leave the playground, refuses to get in the car for school, or becomes aggressive during difficult tasks.

What your child is communicating: “This is too hard/scary/uncomfortable/boring. I need to get away from this situation.”

Escape-motivated behavior is incredibly common and completely understandable. We all want to avoid things that are unpleasant, overwhelming, or challenging. The difference is that adults have learned (mostly!) to tolerate discomfort and delay gratification. Children are still developing these skills.

How to respond:

• Make tasks more manageable: Break overwhelming tasks into smaller steps. Instead of “clean your room,” try “first, let’s put the blocks in the bin.”
• Use positive reinforcement: Pair challenging tasks with rewards. “After we finish three math problems, we’ll take a two-minute dance break!”
• Provide choices: Giving options creates a sense of control. “Do you want to brush teeth before or after we put on pajamas?”
• Don’t inadvertently reinforce escape: This is crucial. If your child tantrums to avoid homework and you immediately say “Fine, you don’t have to do it,” you’ve just taught them that tantrums successfully eliminate demands. Instead, wait until they’re calm, then continue with a modified version of the task.
• Build tolerance gradually: Use a technique called “errorless learning” where you start with very brief, easy demands and gradually increase difficulty as your child experiences success.

Function #3: Access to Tangibles

What it looks like: Your child grabs toys from other children, screams for a specific food, hits when told they can’t have the tablet, or melts down in the toy store when you say no to a purchase.

What your child is communicating: “I want that thing, and I want it now. I don’t have the skills to wait, negotiate, or cope with disappointment.”

This function is all about getting access to something desirable—a toy, food, activity, or person. Young children and those with developmental delays often struggle with delayed gratification and emotional regulation when they can’t have what they want immediately.

How to respond:

• Teach requesting skills: Help your child learn to ask appropriately for what they want. This might be verbal (“May I please have a snack?”), through sign language, pictures, or AAC devices, depending on your child’s communication level.
• Use visual supports: Visual schedules and timers help children understand when they’ll get access to preferred items. “First we do homework, then you can have 20 minutes of tablet time.”
• Practice waiting: Start small. “You can have the toy in 10 seconds… 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, here you go!” Gradually increase wait times as your child develops tolerance.
• Don’t give in to aggression: If your child hits and you immediately hand over the toy, they learn that aggression works. Instead, remain calm, ensure safety, and provide access only when appropriate behavior occurs.
• Praise appropriate requests: “I love how you asked nicely! Here’s your snack.”

Function #4: Sensory/Automatic Reinforcement

What it looks like: Your child rocks back and forth, flaps their hands, makes repetitive sounds, picks at their skin, chews on clothing, spins objects, or engages in other self-stimulatory behaviors that seem to occur regardless of the environment or whether anyone is watching.

What your child is communicating: “This feels good to my body. It helps me regulate, feel calm, or create sensory input that I need.”

Sensory-motivated behaviors are unique because they’re internally driven — the behavior itself provides the reinforcement. Your child isn’t doing it to get attention, escape tasks, or access items; they’re doing it because it meets a sensory need. These behaviors are especially common in children with autism, ADHD, or sensory processing differences.

How to respond:

• Determine if it’s harmful: Not all sensory behaviors need to be eliminated. Harmless stimming (hand-flapping, rocking, humming) can be an important self-regulation tool. Focus on behaviors that cause harm or significantly interfere with learning and social participation.
• Provide appropriate alternatives: If your child chews on their shirt, provide chewy jewelry. If they need movement, create opportunities for jumping, spinning, or heavy work activities.
• Enrich the environment: Often, sensory behaviors increase when children are bored or under-stimulated. Provide engaging activities, sensory bins, fidget tools, and movement breaks.
• Address underlying needs: Work with an occupational therapist to develop a “sensory diet”—scheduled activities throughout the day that meet your child’s sensory needs proactively.
• Never punish sensory behaviors: These behaviors serve an important regulatory function. Punishing them doesn’t address the underlying need and can increase anxiety and distress.

Putting It All Together: The ABC’s of Behavior

At FOCUS Therapy, our Fort Myers ABA therapists use a systematic approach called the ABC model to understand behavior:

• Antecedent: What happens right before the behavior (the trigger)
• Behavior: The observable action your child takes
• Consequence: What happens immediately after the behavior (which influences whether it will happen again)

Let’s look at an example:

Scenario: Your 5-year-old throws their toys across the room.

Without understanding function: “He’s being bad. He needs a time-out.”

With function-based understanding:

Example 1 – Attention Function

• Antecedent: You’ve been on your phone for 10 minutes
• Behavior: Child throws toys
• Consequence: You immediately look up and say, “Stop that!”
• Function: Attention (even negative attention is still attention)
• Better response: Prevent by providing scheduled attention; ignore toy throwing (if safe); immediately praise when playing appropriately

Example 2 – Escape Function

• Antecedent: You ask child to put toys away
• Behavior: Child throws toys
• Consequence: You say, “Fine, I’ll do it myself!”
• Function: Escape from the demand to clean up
• Better response: Use a timer, break task into steps, stay neutral, require at least one toy to be put away before removing the demand

Same behavior, completely different function, completely different intervention approach. This is why cookie-cutter behavior plans don’t work, and why our experienced Fort Myers ABA therapists at FOCUS Therapy conduct thorough functional behavior assessments before developing individualized intervention strategies.

When to Seek Help

As a parent, you’re the expert on your child. Trust your instincts. Consider reaching out to Fort Myers ABA therapists if:

• Challenging behaviors are occurring multiple times per day and interfering with daily functioning
• Behaviors are dangerous to your child or others
• You’ve tried multiple strategies without improvement
• Your child’s behaviors are impacting their ability to learn, play, or form relationships
• You’re feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, or hopeless
• Your child has a diagnosis of autism, ADHD, or other developmental differences

Even if your child does not (yet or ever) have a formal autism diagnosis, FOCUS Therapy offers parent behavior consulting to help all families navigate through behavior difficulties.

How FOCUS Therapy’s Fort Myers ABA Therapists Can Help

At FOCUS Therapy, our multidisciplinary approach means your child receives comprehensive, coordinated care. Our experienced, compassionate Fort Myers ABA therapists work closely with our speech therapists, occupational therapists, and physical therapists to address your child’s needs from every angle.

What makes our ABA program special:

• Functional Behavior Assessments: We don’t guess at why behaviors are happening. Our Fort Myers ABA therapists conduct detailed assessments, observe your child in multiple settings, interview caregivers, and sometimes conduct formal “ABC” data collection to identify the precise function of each challenging behavior.
• Individualized Treatment Plans: There’s no one-size-fits-all approach. We develop customized intervention strategies based on your child’s unique needs, your family’s priorities, and the specific functions driving your child’s behaviors.
• Parent Training and Support: You’re not just dropping your child off for therapy. We believe parents are the most important part of the treatment team. Our Fort Myers ABA therapists provide hands-on training, coaching, and support so you can implement strategies consistently at home, school, and in the community.
• Naturalistic Teaching: We focus on teaching skills in the context where your child will actually use them—during play, mealtimes, bedtime routines, and community outings. This leads to better generalization and more meaningful outcomes.
• Focus on Communication: Many challenging behaviors stem from communication difficulties. Our ABA therapists work collaboratively with our speech therapists to develop your child’s communication skills, whether through verbal language, sign language, picture systems, or AAC devices.
• Positive, Relationship-Based Approach: We believe therapy should be joyful. Our Fort Myers ABA therapists build strong, trusting relationships with every child, using play, preferred activities, and positive reinforcement to teach new skills and reduce challenging behaviors.
• Data-Driven Decision Making: We track progress objectively, adjust interventions based on what the data tells us, and keep you informed every step of the way.

Real Change is Possible: A Message of Hope

Understand this: behavioral challenges do not define your child. Behind every behavior is a child trying to communicate, trying to meet their needs with the skills they currently have. With understanding, consistency, effective strategies, and professional support when needed, children can learn new, more adaptive ways to get their needs met.

Change takes time. There will be hard days. But with the right support, understanding, and strategies, you’ll see progress. Your child can thrive.

If you’re in the Fort Myers area and think your child might benefit from ABA therapy, we’d love to talk with you. Our team of experienced, compassionate Fort Myers ABA therapists at FOCUS Therapy is here to support your family every step of the way.

FOCUS Therapy is a comprehensive pediatric therapy clinic in Fort Myers, FL, offering ABA therapy, ADOS testing, occupational therapy, speech-language therapy, and behavior consulting for parents.

Additional Resources:

The Importance of Routines and Schedules, HeadStart

More Blog Entries:

Fort Myers ABA Therapists on Creating Effective Routines for Children with Developmental Delays